So I have been thinking about how I will prepare myself mentally for the influx of articles, commentary and pictures of a pregnant Kate for the next 34 weeks give or take.
The truth is, I don't even know how to deal with my own infertility, let alone everyone else's fertility. Over the last 6 years, many friends have been having their first, second and third babies. At first, I shied away from seeing them. Feigning excuses for not going to baby showers, christenings, etc. Then I tried the opposite approach by happily joining in family festivities with little munchkins running around, burping and nappy changing all around.
It all ends the same way: me despairing at the injustice of it all.
Why did my hubby have a vasectomy?!? Why don't we have enough money for IVF?!? Why do bogans breed without any problems even though they have bad diets, drug/alcohol abuse issues and are uneducated?!?
I've been trying to get hubby to understand that given my age and our situation, that I cannot go on 'hoping' indefinitely. It is literally killing me. It is eating at my soul, my personality and my will to live.
But I don't know how to accept the way things are and be happy.
I feel restless. I feel stressed. I feel hopeless.
I need answers.
